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Post by iceland2018 on Sept 19, 2018 4:10:47 GMT -6
rejected FRIENDS episodes:
-the one where rachels nipples don’t show
-the one where it’s 9/11
-the one where they actually pay rent
-the one where ross shuts the blank up
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Post by iceland2018 on Sept 19, 2018 4:11:12 GMT -6
other products made by I Cant Believe Its Not Butter:
-blank Off, It’s Mayonnaise -I Hope These Aren’t Hornets -You Thought This Was Yogurt? Surprise, Dumbass! -blank My Ass, Thats Good Peanut Brittle -No One Said This Was Ham
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Post by iceland2018 on Sept 19, 2018 4:11:36 GMT -6
popular porn searches in 2018: -a man who listens -just the movie PADDINGTON -porn with snapchat filters -student loan shaming -casting couch without sex, just the hiring
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Post by iceland2018 on Sept 19, 2018 4:16:49 GMT -6
Me: Hello Sharks. My pitch is to rebrand salad for the “man’s man” type, by calling it “bromaine lettuce”
Drive-thru worker: Sir this is a McDonalds. please pull up to the next window
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Post by iceland2018 on Sept 19, 2018 4:17:56 GMT -6
signs you may have gotten way too stoned: -you’re covered in rocks and you’re dead
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Post by iceland2018 on Sept 19, 2018 4:18:32 GMT -6
Football is back. Here are tips on how to sound smart around your peers: - just say the word “defense” - yell “come on” - say “this team, man...” and don’t continue the thought - memorize numbers 60-80, not the players. Just mention the numbers. - get blackout drunk
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Post by iceland2018 on Sept 19, 2018 4:19:37 GMT -6
hey i just met you, and this is crazy but here’s my number,
so lets text for a couple days but never actually hangout because im terrified of commitment
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Post by iceland2018 on Sept 19, 2018 4:20:13 GMT -6
All I wanna do is *gunshots* *gunshots* *click* *cash register sound*
learn how to open a cash register
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Post by iceland2018 on Sept 19, 2018 4:22:47 GMT -6
People who know what to do during a karaoke instrumental break have a clear life direction and made all the right choices
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Post by iceland2018 on Sept 19, 2018 4:24:46 GMT -6
My life coach just told me that I didn’t make the team
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Post by iceland2018 on Sept 19, 2018 4:32:25 GMT -6
The best way to make sure a telemarketer never calls you again is to join that company, work your way up the corporate ladder for several years, become his supervisor, and then fire him from within
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